It's April Fool's Day, and we're live in New York City at midnight. Beyond a 34-foot vertical neon sign hanging outside on Broadway at 50th Street is Caroline's Comedy Club, an 11,000-square foot classically modern environment featuring a showroom with banquettes, tables, and chairs and a lounge that offers intimate, plush seating areas and plenty of space to mingle.
A color scheme of muted mahogany, blue, green and tobacco tones creates a rich, dramatic feeling. Walls are uplit and downlit with colored lights for a spectacular effect. There are velvets, tapestries, leather and exotic wood throughout. A harlequin theme appears in upholstery fabrics and on the stage. A glass hood etched with names of many comedians who have played Caroline's over the years hangs above the bar in the lounge. An entire wall is decorated with photographs of Caroline's alumni, which include such luminaries as Judy Tenuta, Richard Lewis, Jerry Seinfeld, Richard Belzer, Jay Leno, Pee Wee Herman, Sandra Bernhardt, Billy Crystal, and many, many more.
We're in the lounge, talking to the emcee for tonight's All-Star Showcase, EDDIE BRILL. Use the Interact with Host button to send questions to Eddie, and he will answer as many of us as possible before he goes onstage for the 12:30 show! Our online host is ComedyClub (actually Jen and Ivy, from ABC Beta).
ComedyClub: Here's Baybee, with our first question for Eddie...
Question : Describe the best looking man. :)
EDDIE BRILL: Me
ComedyClub: WHT CLOUD wants to know...
Question : Eddie were you always trying to be funny as a kid ?
EDDIE BRILL: No, but people thought I was funny anyway. In college I was in a comedy group with Dennis Leary, Steven Wright, and many others. We tried stand-up and it became successful and we haven't stopped.
ComedyClub: Here's SWatk5829, to ask...
Question: Do you do Republican jokes?
EDDIE BRILL: No, they're jokes in themselves!
ComedyClub: RGomel asks...
Question: Do you consider yourself funny, tough guy?
EDDIE BRILL: Funny how? tough guy. LOL!
ClubComedy: Catundra, what's up?
Question: Do people at the bar think you are a computer nerd?
EDDIE BRILL: No, they think you are! We have drinks here, and beautiful women, and you're at home typing!!
ClubComedy: Here's Holleewoo with a question, Eddie...
Question: What about your childhood led you into this kind of work?
EDDIE BRILL: Being cynical in a sarcastic house helps -- my mom is funnier than any comedian I know.
ClubComedy: LdyDonna asks...
Question: Do you also have a real job? You know, one that you're good at?
EDDIE BRILL: I don't need one. I get paid very well.
ClubComedy: The next is from Kiddshrin...
Question: What do you think about online romance?
EDDIE BRILL: I've never tried it. Sounds good.
ClubComedy: Take it, LeWolf...
Question: Can you describe the first days of spring in New York City?
EDDIE BRILL: They are the greatest -- after a cold winter it's nice to see the girls without their bras!
ClubComedy: Sharon21 inquires...
Question: Are you good looking?
EDDIE BRILL: I'm a babe. Come to Caroline's and check me out!
ClubComedy: Who's going to be on tonight?
EDDIE BRILL: OK -- Greg Giraldo, Linda Smith, and Mark Maron, from Short Attention Span Theater.
ClubComedy: And Eddie! (Who was voted 994 Best New York City Comedian!) Eddie is still here at the bar with us; the onstage comedy will start soon. Now here's our next question, from Ciburfk...
Question: So, what do you think of Kato????
EDDIE BRILL: That's a Kato question? No OJ allowed at Caroline's!
ClubComedy: JoeSysPro wants to know about CAroline's Comedy Hour...
Question: Are these shows still seen on A&E?
EDDIE BRILL: Yes, 11pm Sunday nights. Actually, it depends on where you are in the country.
ClubComedy: Another question...
Question: What's the best line a heckler has ever thrown at you?
EDDIE BRILL: Your zipper is open! -- I turned aound, zipped up, and tried to wipe the red off my face. I hate hecklers. They're annoying. Most comedians hate them-- they think they are helping but they really don't let us do our act.
ClubComedy: Another poser for you, Eddie..
Question: Is there anything really funny about rutabagas and winnebagos?
EDDIE BRILL: Not much except the names!
ClubComedy: Pyah, what's on your mind?...
Question: How do you get to be a stand up comedian?
EDDIE BRILL: Practice practice practice! Stage time stage time stage time!!
ClubComedy: We're at Caroline's in NYC Times Square and we're going to broadcast the comedy from the stage. Hang on -- we are stalling because they're starting late tonight. In the bar area we are partying and waiting for the show to start. Here's another question for Eddie...
Question: What keeps you doing it, besides the fame and fortune?
EDIE BRILL: The ladies. :)
ClubComedy: This one is from Socbum...
Question: You said you were in a comedy group with Steven Wright? Is he still around? The last I saw him, he had a bit part on Mad about You.
EDDIE BRILL: Yes, he's writing and doing more movie parts.
ClubComedy: XXXDress has a question..
Question: what is your favorite color?
EDDIE BRILL: Green and plaid.
ClubComedy: Okay, Eddie has gone to perform. Now look who's here! It's Marc Maron!! He's the guy form Comedy Central's Short Attenion Span Theater. He wants us to mention that the show is now off, however. :( Who has questions for Marc? IlandMan? Okay, you're on...
Question: Mark, been back to Boston lately?? (The Paradise)
MARC MARON: No, it's been over two years -- I'd like to get back soon.
ClubComedy: A new question from Holleewoo...
Question: Marc, does this seem more devoid of reality than most moments in NYC?
MARC MARON: NY is saturated with reality. This is surreal.
ClubComedy: Hmm, XXXDress is back...
Question: was anybody else in the competition in when Eddie won in 94?
MARC MARON: No, he ran alone.
YEAH MARK ASK WHOEVER IS TRYING TO SPELL AND TYPE TO DO A BETTER JOB THANKS A LOT, THE PEOPLE IN ROW 7
ClubComedy: StarrTrk asks...
Question: How do you get on stage?
MARC MARON: Walk, don't run!
ClubComedy: BenEdna has a new question...
Question: What's the difference /similarity between live comedy and comedy online, Marc?
MARC MARON: Live comedy you are having an interaction with a human. Online you are having an interaction with a machine.
ClubComedy: LeWolf asks...
Question: Do you think Stalin would've ever had a future as a stand-up comic?
MARC MARON : Maybe, opening for Hitler!
ClubComedy: Chucklebo has the next one...
Question: Comedy has dumbed down since it became such an accessible medium. Do you think stand-up can bounce back from this and return to its more intellectual beginnings?
MARC MARON: Yes, if stupid people would stop coming to the clubs.
ClubComedy: Another one fromo XXXDress...
Question: Who did Eddie have sex with to get this job?
MARC MARON: Uh, me? And others -- a lot of people.
ClubComedy: BenEdna wants to know...
Question: Ever get any good laughs from "machines"?
MARC MARON: Yes and it was a sad moment for both of us!
ClubComedy: NYFiveO asks..
Question: What happened to SAST?
MARC MARON: They freed me... I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
ClubComedy: Niko has sent in the next one...
Question : DO YOU HATE ALL QUESTIONS FROM ROW 7?
ClubComedy: We haven't gotten any questions from row seven. You have to send it via Interact with Host.
ClubComedy: XXXDress is restive, too...
Question: Did you know we're making fun of you as you talk?, kinda like short attention span theater?
MARC MARON: Did you know we're making fun of *you*?
ClubComedy: Here's Iland Man again...
Question: How many packs of cigs. a day are you up to??
MARC MARON: I quit!
ClubComedy: LeWolf is curious...
Question: Uh, live people aren't hearing this, are they?
MARC MARON: Of course not! I'm saying it onstage!! We've turned this against you-- the technology, I mean.
ClubComedy: Glippman, go ahead...
Question: Ever have cyberspace orgies?
MARC MARON: Call me old fashioned! I'm into hands-on orgies.
ClubComedy: A new question...
Question: Don't you think it's about time we build answering machines that can do all the talking for us?
MARC MARON: How lazy are you? Do you want to surrender your personality to a machine?? You know what I say? Don't give that much power to something you can unplug!!
ClubComedy: MyCall 156 asks...
Question : The money your Mom gave you for comedy lessons?
MARC MARON: She didn't give me any intentional comedy lessons-- they happened in spite of herself.
ClubComedy: A follow-up question...
Question: The stupid people won't stop coming to the clubs as the clubs have adapted to the white dollar; do you see anything such as a new venue for hipper material coming into being?
MARC MARON: We'r'e doing that in NY at a place called ReBar. It's on 8th Avenue and 16th, on the NW corner-- 8pm every Monday.
Niko: OK, SEVEN HERE. WHO IS TYPING AND SPELLING?
ClubComedy: Nitreau asks...
Question : Our "Member Profiles" aren't being displayed, are they?!!!
MARC MARON: Yes. We know everything about you. Lock your doors!
ClubComedy: Marc had to leave to go onstage...
ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP US OFF HERE (SEVENTH ROW)
ClubComedy: We're going inside for the performance now. Everyone is applauding the waitresses for staying so late. Here is Eddie Brill again, onstage...
EDDIE BRILL: You are a good audience.. not the mellow kind we hate so well. Sometimes at 2 in the morning it becomes like a jazz crowd: 'you're so coool...and quiet.' We're makin history tonite -- we're on AOL! Tell those people at home to come out to a comedy club! It's not the same at home...you gotta be here!!
EDDIE BRILL: PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR MARC MARON!!
ClubComedy: Now Marc is stepping onstage, talking the mike from Eddie.
MARC MARON: I want to make sure those little f--kers at home at their consoles understand: there are 400 poeple screaming here.. for me.. I am DANCING..and they are applauding madly! And here's a little something for all you little pederasts out there in the AOL world: they are trying to convince us the info hiway is the future --
but you're not really traveling all that much, are you?
MARC MARON: How abt the guy on the subway with the nerve gas, in apan. Is this for real? I'd be relieved to see a guy with a *gun* on the subway after that!
MARC MARON: This doesn't leave this room, ok? Most people are stupid.. not us, but most people. Case in point: The Brady Bunch MOVIE??? I mean, where do I throw my money in the garbage? Do you mremeber the TV SHOW??? The movie made 30 million dollars in the first weekend...! I see the execs in H'wood going.. I can't believe this, people are really stupid!!. Let's get on the Starsky & Hutch movie!!!
MARC MARON: You know, f--k Republoicans! Who put them in charge? Newt Gingrich is out of his mind! Can't you see that thing emitting from his head?! Let's get rid of welfare -- but he doesn't finish the sentence! I think there should be a guy who stands on the steps of the Capitol and every day he says 'Hey Netwt -eff you!' Every time Newt passes by, that's what he says. I'd pay for that, wouldn't you? I'd feel better if I knew someone was doing that with my tax dollar. Just to give those guys some humility!
MARC MARON: You know Prosac? -- does anyone take it? I understand what it's supposed to do.. but I don't trust a drug you take and can't get high! I get that you take it and 6 weeks later you feel a little better abt everything. This is a drug? You're paying! You should be *flying to work*!
MARC MARON: Pot is back in such a big way it's unbelievable. Everyone is high! I see so many stoned people walking around just doing their jobs. It's so funny, man! I'm not trying to say drugs are good, but you can't pass judgment on people who do drugs -- drugs make people feel better!
MARC MARON: You're not satisfied with my comedy? Then get out! I'm the last guy. The people in the back have sort of filed out.. Should I close?... no, these people are really into me! I'll do Mike Tyson!!
MARC MARON: I can't say anything abt Mike Tyson -- it's on AOL! I'm sure Don King is online... He'll send email that will blow you face off!
